Hi, welcome to the Conscious Connection Manifesting Miracles podcast. I’m your host, Carol Hasbrouck, the the Miracle lady and author of the book 10,000 Miles of Miracles, now available on Amazon. On this show, we uncover ways to follow your inner guidance system so you can live your most authentic and fantastic life.

Our mission is to help you learn how to differentiate between your ego thoughts and your true, authentic higher self, which can lead you to your life purpose. On new adventures, and even to new callings. You can finally live the life you desire and the life you deserve.

Well, it’s February, y’, all, and that’s the month of love. And if I am anything, I am all about love. In fact, I wore my heart headband in to be with Jordan, our producer here today, and gave him a little bit of love with the Valentine gift.

And I’ve been going to my customers and dropping them off as well. Love is so important to me. I am really spreading it as much as I can, everywhere I can.

I just finished listening to Dr. Pulley’s recording this morning, his most recent, and it’s episode number 64. If you want to go back and and listen to his recording with Gina Folk, his guests, and I know both of them very well. They talk about self love and the importance of self love.

It has been a huge journey for me. It is not something I started when I was young. I wish I had, frankly.

I ask my grandchildren, they’re 3, 8 and 10 years old, and I ask them all the time, who loves you? And of course, the answer is, you do. And I always remind them that they need to be in that picture too. So they say, well, you do, nanny.

And I go, that’s right. And who else loves you? And they’ll go, my mom, my dad. And I go, who else? Who else? And I keep saying it until they go, I love me.

And I go, that’s right. And that’s the most important relationship you can have in the whole time we’re here on Earth, is a relationship with yourself. We learn about relationships and love and getting along with others as we’re growing up, but no one really teaches us about loving ourselves.

In fact, it can sometimes be just the opposite. Society and songs that are put out, different parents, teachers, religion can sometimes give us an idea that we’re sinners and we’re not good. And I don’t go to those churches, but there are many out there that do that.

And so we grow up thinking we’re not good enough. Now, we weren’t born that way. We were Born knowing we deserved all the love and attention we could garner.

And for the most part, we got it. So if we cried, somebody came and picked us up. If we wet our diaper, somebody changed our diaper for us.

If we were hungry, somebody fed us. And we didn’t think anything of asking for what we needed. We didn’t expect anything but those people to give us what we needed.

And of course, one of the things we need as we’re growing up and as we live this life is to be loved. To not only give love, but to be loved. So we’re taught about learning how to get love from others, but no one really teaches us.

Or at least I’ll speak for myself. No one really taught me how to love myself. In fact, I grew up and lived most of my adult life thinking there was a part of me that just wasn’t good enough.

Just didn’t quite fit into the values or not the values, but the idea of who I should be in this world. And you know, my mom, my dad died when I was young. And my dad was a wonderful human being.

And my mom was mostly my caregiver. And the person that shaped me into a young woman. And she loved me dearly, was a perfect example of love for me for the most part.

Yet she never taught me that I was good enough. She never taught me that it’s okay to love myself. In fact, I have to love myself in order to love you.

I know I’m not alone in that. I actually had a very functional family life, which is unusual in society. And I still grew up thinking there was just something missing, something little outside of myself that I needed to fill up with.

I mean, something inside of myself that I needed to fill up with. Something outside of myself. And that created a lot of misery in my life.

Because frankly, no one or no thing can fill me up if I’m not already loving myself and being kind to myself. How do I do that? How do I love myself and be kind to myself? Well, I’m just learning some of the ways to do that. And it isn’t about.

Although taking self care is important. And your massages and pedicures, baths, quietly reading a book, getting my feet rubbed, those are all things I really enjoy. And that is part of self care.

It is not necessarily self love. How did I learn about self love? Well, I Learned it through Dr. Pulley, who is my spiritual leader as well as my counselor and my good friend. He taught me many different ways.

He’s the one that first told me about Louise Hay. And her book that you can heal yourself, you can heal your body. And I’ve recently started reading more of that.

The main thing she talks about is doing mirror work. Now she has 10 different actions that we can take to learn how to love ourselves. And the most profound, according to her, is doing the mirror work.

And the mirror work may be a little bit uncomfortable. I talk about this in a couple of episodes. It may be a little uncomfortable at first.

And now that I’ve done it for over a month, I miss it. When I forget to do it, I look in the mirror and I look straight into my eyes and I say to myself, carol, I love you. I really, really love you just the way you are.

In fact, I’m recording this right now for a video, and I’m going to say it right into the phone, Carol, I love you. I really, really love you just the way you are. When I look at my face, when I say this now, it is completely different from what my face looked like when I first started doing this.

When I first started doing it, I would have that look of, who are you kidding? No, I don’t want to look myself in the eyes and tell myself I love because I’m lying to myself. And that was very uncomfortable. I did it anyway.

I’ve learned that the only way I can grow in this life is to do things that are uncomfortable and to just keep working through it, walking through it. I’ve been doing the mirror work, like I said, for about a month now. It feels completely different than it did when I started.

I can smile, really big smiles, and I can tell those smiles go right up to my eyes. And I believe myself. Now I believe myself when I say, I love you just the way you are.

That doesn’t mean that throughout the day, there aren’t times that I think negative thoughts about myself or I just have that angst of not quite fitting in or not quite being the person I was meant to be. However, now I will notice that right away and I’ll go back to the mirror and look at myself and say, carol, I love you just the way you are. And I might have to say it a few times until I believe it, but it gets me off of that negative self talk.

I don’t know why, as human beings, we do that. We are so inclined to. To berate ourselves, condemn out and out, condemn ourselves, say really bad things like, oh, you’re such an idiot.

Oh, I can’t believe you did that again. You do it again, Carol, come on, what’s wrong with you? If I had a friend say that to me, do you think I’d still be their friend? No. Now, if I had a friend give me constructive feedback, that’s another story.

But if they called me stupid and an idiot and said, what’s wrong with you? I would not be their friend anymore. Because I didn’t. I won’t like that kind of talk yet I put up with it from myself.

Except I don’t put up with it from myself anymore very often. Every now and then, like I said, I’ll catch myself saying it or thinking it, and I’ll have to turn that off. In fact, I’ve learned not to turn it off.

I’ve learned to just say, oh, thank you for sharing, and then think about something else. I’m not rejecting thoughts. Thoughts come and thoughts go.

But what I don’t have to do is I don’t have to linger on the thought. One of my teachers in life that I read every morning is Emmett Fox, and he talks about, thoughts are like embers from a fire. And if a little ember piece of wood jumps out of the fire and it’s on fire and it lands on your blouse or your shirt, if you were to flick it off immediately, there would be no damage done.

If you were to let it sit there for just a little bit, you would certainly have damage to your shirt or your blouse. And if you were to let it linger for very long at all, it would put a hole in your blouse or your shirt and possibly burn your skin. He said to take thoughts the same way.

Don’t linger on them, don’t make them worse than they are. Don’t build up this big story around the thoughts. And if I do that, then I can either forgive myself for what I’ve done or I can say, well, that was a silly thought.

I sure don’t want to think that anymore. And I can move on to a better thought about. I guess I started this work in earnest two or three months ago.

Well, because of that, because it’s what I’m putting my attention on. I have now all kinds of readings and teachings and people that come into my life and teach me about self love and that the most important relationship I have in life is the one I have with myself. One of the things Dr. Pulley said in his podcast was, if you asked me to give you a million dollars and I didn’t have a million dollars, it wouldn’t matter how much I really wanted to be able to give you a million dollars, I couldn’t.

So if you ask me to love you. And I don’t love me as much as I want to love you. I can’t.

I have to love me first in order to love you from that overflow. Another thing Dr. Pulley talks about in his podcast that I really liked was Kenneth Butler’s quote. And Kenneth said something like, the world is a classroom, God is the teacher and love is the lesson.

And we’re always learning. I really like that because I do feel like I’m always learning. And to be able to learn new ways to love myself is magnificent.

When I decided I wanted to go on this journey of learning how to love myself better, like I said, many people and things came into my life that helped me do that. This morning I picked up a book called Finding youg Lighthouse written by Jeanine Merkel Pearlstein. And Janine is part of the SunLeaders group where you’re listening to this podcast and we’re doing our book club on her book this week.

I sat down to read it this morning and her first chapter is called Searching within. And guess what she talks about? You got it. She talks about self love.

She mentions in here that if I want results in my life to be different, I must reverse engineer the process and look at what is causing the results I have today. From there, I can change everything that informs my actions so that I may achieve better, stronger results. I want for Janine is saying, I want for you results that are more purposeful toward what you want instead of reactionary to what the world around you wants you to have.

And truly, if we are honest with ourselves, the world doesn’t always want us to have the same purpose that we want us to have. And the way I can stay in alignment with my sole purpose is to honor myself and by following my inner guidance system and doing what I was put here to do, not what the world expects me to do. And that is part of self love.

Her book is. I don’t know that I would have picked this book up because it’s a leadership guide to navigating change. I would have thought it was more about the business.

And she does talk about how to bring the value of love into your business and that it first starts with you and loving yourself. But I would have thought that, oh, that’s a business book and that’s about leadership. And I’m really not a leader.

Well, of course I’m a leader. I’m a son leader. I’m a servant leader.

I’m the leader of my child, my grandchildren, my children. Don’t listen to me anymore because they’re adults and they do listen to me. I take that back.

But I’m a leader in very many ways. I have people that I counsel and I’m a leader for them. I’m an example for them.

Again, I can’t give away what I don’t have. If I don’t have self love for me, I can’t give it to them. There are a lot of junk websites on the Internet, cluttered, neglected and forgotten.

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there was really probably nothing in that book that would benefit him because as he says, we tend to go to the negative parts of deprecating ourselves and that just isn’t beneficial for me or you or Jordan.

Hopefully, as we listen to podcasts like this and as we read books like Janine’s book and we listen to leaders like Dr. Pulley, we realize all of the answers to all of the questions are inside of us. They are not outside of us. All I have to do is open my mouth and say these words and someone in the room with me totally relates and understands and says I felt that same way.

I went immediately to not thinking I was a leader. So the conversations need to become richer and deeper in my life so that I can see the beauty inside of you and the beauty inside of me. One of the things that I do for self sabotage and Janine talks about this a lot in the book because it’s important for me to recognize when I’m self sabotaging myself.

One of the things I do is what my business coach Eric said to me last week. I push back. And he said, you know, you give me a lot of pushback.

And I said, what? I don’t give you pushback, how do I give you pushback? And he said, well, that’s pushback right there. And I just didn’t see it. Then he said, I see imposter syndrome in you, which is very ironic because you’re teaching about following your inner guidance system.

And that is just the opposite. Well, I didn’t even know what imposter syndrome was. It didn’t sound good, I can tell you that much.

Anything syndrome doesn’t sound good, but certainly not imposter syndrome. So we were in a situation where we really didn’t have a chance to continue the conversation, and I went home and I looked it up, and it’s where you have proven otherwise, but you are still. Or I have proven otherwise, but I am still saying to the world, I can’t do that.

I’m not good enough to do that. I’m not capable. Although I’ve already proven to the world that I can do that in many, many ways.

And I knew that was spot on. And it came from ego. It completely comes from ego.

The whole I’m not good enough thing does not come from following my inner guidance system. It comes from listening to my ego. Unfortunately, sometimes the ego can be really loud.

I just have to differentiate between the two. So once I figured out, okay, he’s right, he is absolutely right. I am giving him pushback because I’m not doing the things I hired him to tell me what to do to become successful, and I’m not doing, he said, you know, the whole thing is about action, Carol.

And I wasn’t taking the actions. And I can tell you right now why I wasn’t taking the actions. I went into the silence to discover this.

I got my journal, and I went into the silence, and I immediately hear it’s the exact same thing you did before you published your book. You really could have published your book about eight years before you published it. And then even the year that you decided that was the year 2012 or 2024.

No, I’m sorry. 2023 was the year that I’m publishing my book. This is it.

It has to be done this year. Even then, I couldn’t get it published until November because I was paralyzed by the fear of what other people would think. I went and saw Dr. Pulley, and he said, this is normal.

First of all, I want you to understand this is not uncommon. You’re worried about what other people think. And I knew I was worried about what other people think.

He said, just publishing the book is success. Even if nothing else ever happens, you’ve been more successful than other people. Not that I’m trying to compare myself to other people, because I really try not to.

Do that. But I’d been successful because I published the book, even if I never did anything else with the book. Well, now the book is taking me on a speaking career that I’ve known my entire life, that I’m supposed to be a speaker and a teacher.

And I know that’s what gets me excited about life and living. I’m passionate about helping others. I’m passionate about traveling.

And traveling and helping others is what took me on the journey to write, to do the 10,000 miles of service work, to write the book 10,000 Miles of Miracles. And so if that’s what I’m passionate about, and I’ve thought about it my whole life, I’m 69 years old. What the heck? It’s time.

So I am officially announcing here on this podcast that this year, I am taking my book on the road. I am looking for speaking engagements, paid, unpaid, preferably paid. But to start with, I will do unpaid speaking to get the experience.

And if you know of anyone that needs someone to speak in front of your groups or groups you know about, I am available for that, and I would love to talk to you about that opportunity. So I’m declaring today that this is the year, this is the month. This is right now.

I am taking my book on the road. No more playing it small. No more imposter syndrome.

I’m perfectly capable of this. I have been speaking in front of groups my entire life, and I’ve always gotten feedback that, oh, you’re so natural at this. You’re such a great speaker.

And I go, oh, thank you. It’s my gift from God. And then I go, hide under my rock.

Does that sound familiar to anybody? I’m not going to do that anymore. Listen, when you get to be 69 years old, you realize you better get going on your stuff, because I’m sure I have lots of time left, and I don’t have as much time as I did before. So I’m declaring that today.

And I know in doing that and declaring that, I’m telling myself I’m good enough and I love myself enough. Back to Janine’s book. Her intro talks about lesson number one is about trusting yourself.

And that’s what keeps me in my imposter syndrome, because I don’t trust myself. I’ve done it. I’ve gone in front of people, I’ve spoken, have done this podcast for at least six months now and seem to get good feedback from it, but I don’t fully trust myself that I’m good enough to do it.

Well, that ends. And I know this book will help me solidify that. The second thing is trust the fear.

Now, there’s my issue, right? Trusting the fear. And one of the acronyms for fear is Forget everything and run. The other one is false evidence appearing Real.

And I don’t want to let the fear of becoming a speaker or being a speaker. I’m not becoming a speaker. I already am a speaker.

I don’t want the fear of what people think and the negative comments that I might get or whatever to prevent me from living my dream and doing my passion, which is helping other people through the teaching and the knowledge that I’ve acquired. Trusting the fear. She says in here, I am having to knowingly lean into the fear of being uncomfortable.

Well, none of us openly say, yeah, let’s go make it an uncomfortable day today. We don’t look for uncomfortable days. And if I will do what makes me uncomfortable, I always take my life in leaps and bounds of success.

She goes on to say, it is your brain’s job to keep you safe. In other words, to keep you the same. It is your brain’s job to keep you safe, to keep you the same.

Part of being comfortable means doing things as you have always been doing them. But as we all know, doing the same things over and over will undoubtedly yield the same or similar results. Breaking out of the comfort zone means making choices that will, by definition, make you uncomfortable.

So it shows up in many ways. She talks about how discomfort shows up in her body, and it certainly shows up in mine, too. My abdomen area, my gut is the first place that discomfort shows up.

It’s also the first place I know that it’s ego and it’s not my inner guidance system. If I get a thought or decide to take an action. And that abdominal area gets what we call butterflies, or it’s actually more than butterflies for me.

It’s like my stomach’s turning over or something. When I get that, and it’s immediate, I know, no, Carol, this isn’t a healthy fear. This is something you want to stay away from.

It’s like when your mom told you, if you feel like you’re not supposed to be someplace, don’t be there. Well, that’s the way I get. And discomfort can show up for me in my body.

I get it in my shoulders, too. I get pretty tense in my shoulders. My jaw.

I clench my jaw. And I’m at a place where I can look at that and go, okay, breathe, Carol, breathe. Be still and breathe and get your journal and write down Whatever you think of, no one has to read it.

You don’t have to worry about anyone reading it and what they think. Just get it all out. And when I do that, I can work through the discomfort and the fear, and I have to take action steps that I’m walking right into the fear.

Nobody really likes the thought of doing that. And we all know that’s where the most growth occurs. The next thing she talks about is trusting the momentum.

Momentum is huge. I mean, if you think about pushing a rock down the hill, you know, at first this huge old boulder, and this is an example she gives, it’s pretty difficult to get that rock moving. And you gotta give it all your energy and force and get your shoulder in there and maybe even hurt yourself to get that boulder moving down the hill a little tiny bit.

But then once you do that, the momentum starts and the rock goes easily down the hill. In fact, it’s hard to stop the rock once it’s going down the hill. So if I will take the action that I need to take consistently.

Now, that’s my word for the year. My word is actually focus. And that is so that I can become consistent.

I’ve had many teachers recently tell me that I’m not consistent. I get gung ho about something and then I drop the ball. My goal is to focus and stay consistent so I can keep that momentum going.

Lesson number four in her book is trust the magic. Now, that’s definitely my favorite. She talks about trust that it will happen and look for it to happen.

Magic happens for all of us when we believe it is ours for the receiving, and we delight in its gift. So when I went on that journey of 10,000 miles of service work, we went to spread the love. We went looking for goodness.

We went trusting the magic, trusting our inner guidance systems. And guess what we found? We found the magic. We found the goodness in people.

We found the love. We found everything we were looking for and then some, because we were open to receiving and we were willing to look for it. Sometimes just being willing to do something is as powerful as actually doing it.

If I close my mind and I say and I cross my arms in front of my body and I say, no, I’m not doing that. And I just got a picture of myself as a young girl doing that. So if I close my mind and I cross my arms and I say, no, I’m not doing that, I don’t have a chance at all.

But if I just crack open a little tiny bit and let the light in that little tiny crack and say, well, it may not be my favorite thing to do, but I’m willing to consider it. Then I have a chance of doing it. The last lesson she talks about is trust the systems that this part I really related to.

She talks about being an entrepreneur and loving her freedom and not having people tell her what to do. And she realized that in fact, structure sets you free. You have to put in place and embrace systems and structures so that you can experience freedom without being reactionary to life.

She goes on to say, it is not a punishment, as I wholeheartedly believed when I began this work. It is a benefit when you put systems and structure in place, you do not have to think about every move you make. Now I really like that because frankly, I get tired if I have to think about every move I make.

If I have a system and a structure, then I know what’s expected. What I what I can do next. I know not expected from other people, but what I expect from myself to do the next step.

That’s much like what Eric tells me. And we do that together. He doesn’t tell me what to do.

We come up with the list together. And when he gives me that list and that system, then I can expect to get speaking engagements. If I don’t do it, I can expect to not get speaking engagements.

She says, you have more time and you have more energy and brain space for the things you value most. That is what I’m looking for. I am looking to trust myself.

Trust the magic, trust the fear, trust the momentum and trust the systems. And that’s only five levels of trust. In doing that, I will create the life I desire and the life I deserve.

I know that you want to create the life you desire and the life you deserve too. I urge you to go onto Amazon and look for the book Finding youg A Leadership Guide to Navigating Change by Jeanine Merkel Pearlstein and take a look at it. Read it.

I am going to have Janine on as a guest because this book really moved me as I’m reading it. I’m looking forward to the Sun Readers Book Club with it as well. I just know that.

I just know that loving myself, believing in myself and sharing that love with you and you and you enlarges my world beyond capacity. Jordan said. I’m a leader of happiness.

Do you know how that makes me feel? I’m a leader of happiness. Yay. Because I want to be happy.

And I know you want to be happy. And I also know it all starts with me. That isn’t being selfish.

It isn’t being self centered. It isn’t being egotistical. It isn’t thinking I’m better than anyone else.

It’s simply acknowledging that we all have the answers to all the questions inside of each of us. And guess what? We’re all connected. And I believe we’re all walking one another home.

Sam.